How can we honor Christ as we prepare for Christmas?

This morning I told Rachel a story about a little girl and her birthday party.  There were beautiful decorations, the very best food was prepared, everyone was dressed up, and there were presents everywhere!  Rachel's eyes lit up as she imagined the scene.

But I told her that something very sad happened next.  Even though it was the little girl's birthday, no one paid any attention to her.  No one spoke to her or seemed to care that she was even there.  The grown ups excitedly chattered about how great the party was and they complimented themselves for the delicious food and all of their efforts.  When it was time to open presents, she sadly discovered that not a single one was for her. 

Rachel's eyes widened with the injustice of it all.  She couldn't imagine that anyone would treat this poor birthday girl so cruelly.  And while I had her full attention, I explained that that's what happens to Jesus so often on Christmas Day.  Even though Christmas is supposed to be a celebration of Jesus' birthday, he is often sadly forgotten.  I told her that if we're not intentional, it could happen in our home too.

It saddens me that even though I love Jesus, it is so easy for me to get swept away in the preparation, the buying, the wrapping, the baking...

So as Matt and I begin to form traditions with our young family, we are asking hard questions about the way we celebrate and why.  How can we honor God and make Christmas about the One who it is truly about?

Like we so often do when considering something, we took out pen and paper and made a list of ideas.  I humbly share these ideas with you not because we have it all together, but because I am so burdened by what Christmas has become, and I am so alarmed by how I can almost robotically fall into it year after year.

How can we be intentional about honoring Christ this Christmas through meaningful traditions that involve the children?
1. Celebrate Advent with a Jesse tree each day of December!  The children really look forward to this nightly tradition.  It's short and sweet and perfect for little attention spans.
2. Focus more on giving rather than receiving and let the children help!  This year we baked for a bake sale whose proceeds will help build a school for our missionaries in India.  Baking with a 4 year old and 2 year old is definitely a lot more messy, but they had a blast and it gave me an opportunity to talk to them about children in need.
3. Prepare a Voice of the Martyrs Action Pack!  Choose a country (Iraq, Pakistan, or Sudan) and receive a vacuum bag from VOM and a list of suggested items to fill it with - blankets, clothes, sheets, etc.  After you mail your action pack back to VOM, it will be sent to a person in that country who has far less than we could ever imagine.  This is our gift to my in-laws.  It's not a gift for them, but they are so blessed to know that someone in great need will receive blankets, clothes, a Gospel storybook, and other necessary items.
4. Send an extra Christmas gift and letter to the missionaries or Compassion child you support.
5. Shop with your children for Toys for Tots or participate in a Giving Tree at your local church.  Our Giving Tree supports local families in need.  It's always fun to shop for children the same age as my children.  They get really excited about the gifts we pick out and the amount of compassion a small child can display is humbling and inspiring!
6. Reach out.  Every year we bake cookies with another family and give them to our neighbors as we Christmas carol!  (And no, we don't sing well, but we do it anyway - haha!)

We're still working out ideas for what we can do on Christmas Day, so that post is coming soon.  What do you do in preparation or on the day of Christmas to make Jesus first?  We need ideas!

Mid-Week Church Update

Since I quiet my job at night, we decided to try the mid-week church activities once again. Here are the pros and cons we have experienced so far:

Pros

• They now have a program for Mr. Z and Mr. JP, so they can make some friends at church.
• The mom's group was moved to same time as the kids activities.
• Ms. G really sees going to her mid-week kids club now as a privilege, and works hard to quickly get to bed and not whine so much the next day.
  
• It works much better now that my daughter is older - maturity helps!
• Last week they had a family week at my daughter's club, though we were the only complete family there. Besides those running the club, there was 1 Dad and 1 Mom, that's it. Family to family fellowship has been hard for us to find.
• One of Ms. G's friends started coming. Before none of her friends really went, so what is the point of building relationships when the girls she knows are not there.
  

Cons

• They do have trouble focusing on their school work the next day because of the lack of sleep. I let them sleep later, but they like to rise with the sun.
• My husband only gets a hour with his kids, including dinner in that time.
• After a 10 or 11 hour day, my husband just wants to stay home, so we do not always go as a family. Us girls go, and the men stay behind.
  
• There is no dads or men's meeting, so my husband is still finding his place, which probably will be volunteering once a month.
  

Jesus Tree and other Lent Ideas

During the Christmas season, our family has a wonderful time observing Advent, so I wanted to do something more during the period of time leading up to Easter Sunday, which I will refer to as Lent. It is a very Biblical idea to pass along church teachings to our children using celebrations, Exodus and Deuteronomy are examples of this. It is a practical way to teach our faith to our children, in addition to our living out the Gospel daily.

Maybe it is just my personal experience, but Lent seems to be seriously lacking. At our church all my children received something to take home to prepare their little hearts for celebrating Christ's birth, but they have got nothing so far in preparation for celebrating the Resurrection or in remembrance of Good Friday. I am not being judgmental here, I am just stating the fact. There really is not much our there to give out, just do a search for yourself on Amazon, Advent books verses Lent/Easter. There are lots more resources for families and children about Advent. Why do Protestants do Advent and not Lent? Should Easter be outdone by Christmas? Oh, well, here are some ideas I have found. May they be a blessing to you during this special time of year.

So here are some ideas for a Jesus Tree:
Jesus Tree (read about this on Building Cathedrals) - You can buy a kit here, but I was not crazy over the idea of cutting so much felt. I also found two lists - List 1*, List 2. From here, you could make your own. I was thinking of printing out pictures and laminating them to string them onto a tree or banner. Any suggestions from you crafty people out there would be most welcome!

Here is a good quote from List 1~

The exciting thing about starting small is that each ornament is given the family’s full attention. Every year the family can add new ornaments, and Mom does not need to feel that the producing of Easter tree ornaments has taken over her life!

We usually use Resurrection eggs*, which are great too - though there are just 12 eggs to open. My children have always enjoyed the little items in each egg.

This one I am really excited about, Passion Hymns for a Kid's Heart by Bobbie Wolguemuth and Joni Eareckson Tada. The book contains 12 hymns. Each hymn has a devotional with an illustrated picture, simple piano sheet music with guitar chords, Bible verse for memorization, and a prayer. It includes a cd too. My husband has brilliantly found that singing the great hymns are a wonderful way to do a family Bible time with our 8 and under crew. We will probably use one song a week from this book, so the kids will really learn it. I will use our circle time to teach them the song, and we will sing it as a family Sunday evening, perhaps adding the devotional, prayer and scripture review than as well.

Mission Possible is a small and inexpensive($2.99) booklet by Charles Swindoll, which is a 40 day adventure with Jesus (adapted from Walk with Jesus: A 40-day Journey to the Cross and Beyond $1.99). Each adventure has a scripture reading with an explanation and facts. Well either use this just for Ms. G to do on her own during her personal morning devotional, or by all of us during our circle time as a read aloud. I think we will read the booklet at circle time, and Grace will read the scripture that goes with it during her devotional, since I think the readings would be too long for the boys. Since it is a 40 day study about the cross, it is perfect fit for the traditional Lent period.

Please share how your family prepares for Easter.

Previous post on the subject

*FYI This site has google ads on it with some weird "Christian" ads/links - the one for Armageddon is one example. So, I just wanted to make clear for my conscience's sack that I am only endorsing the article, not the ads ;-)

Artwork~
The Raising of the Cross c. 1633 by Rembrandt

The Sound of Family

This past Sunday, we were attending a christening service. At the sound of a child crying, the Deacon officiating the service pointed it out. He said, "Do you hear that? That is the sound of family and it is okay." He went on to explain that you expect those noises where families are present, and that the church (in this case the Catholic church) wants families as apart of their service, noise and all. I mentioned to my husband that the Deacon's statement was a nice change. He said, "Yeah, that sure does beat -'Umm, Did you know we have children's ministry ma'am.' "

My husband grew up in the Catholic church, and he remembers going to church as a family. He remembers babies crying and the adults just learned to block it out. I think Protestants could learn something from our Catholic brothers and sisters on this issue.

We are fortunate that our Pastor is fine with children in the service because not all pastors are okay with that. Once when our 5 year old went through a period when he wanted to stay with us in church instead of going to his class, our pastor came up at the end and congratulated him for sitting through the service. However, there are people at our church that have mention to me that they do NOT like children in the service. In fact, a number of home groups do not let children to be present, the children must be in a separate room. When our home group had low attendance, one of the elders of our church explained it might be because we had children present. I understand how any noise can be distracting, but I think a little noise briefly should be tolerated, especially during a training process. There should be no screaming and running down the isles. As long as the noise level or behavior is not over the top, let the little ones come. It does not mean families rule and adult single are left ignored, but that the whole community worships together. We need all parts of the body.

People will say to me, "But it is different with you, your children are well behaved." Let me tell you, my children are VERY Normal. If they do behave, it is from training and God changing their hearts toward Him. Parenting is hard and heart work! If I can do it, I am sure any Believer can too. The 5 year old I mentioned above happens to be very bouncy by the way - he is ALL boy. Self control is a very good trait to learn, but not an easy one to teach. These things are true for single parents too. As the church body, we should help them any way we can offer as not only Christian behavior, but as a Pro-Life statement as well.

After all, is not one of the ways we are building God's Kingdom through having and raising children in His Church? We want to encourage family - right? We are Pro Life - right? Do we want families to go to church together? Why do we always have to be separated by age? Do not my children need to see their parents worship in church and listening to the sermon?

My children do enjoy kid's church, but sometimes I long for a family church service with children's classes at a different time. I also felt very encouraged by the Deacon's words, and wanted to share they with you.

Postscript by my husband~
I wonder if the ubiquitous images of the Holy family prevalent in Roman Catholic art have influenced the RCC to maintain the family centerness though the years. Of course, I cannot speak for all Protestant churches, but it seems to me that the culture in many modern Protestant churches have adopted segregation policy concerning children.

Painting above:
The Holy Family with Saints Anne and Catherine of Alexandria
1648
Jusepe de Ribera (Spanish, 1591-1652)

Half a Poison Pill

It's hard to blog when I can barely peel my face off my pillow and roll my fatigued preggo body off the couch. In fact, it's hard to do much of anything practical or functional. Little mountains have begun to pop up all over the house. Mountains of laundry, toys, dishes, and tumbleweeds of golden dog hair. Thankfully, I have a husband who has done a great job of playing Mr. Dad and Mr. Mom while I've been slightly out of commission so things aren't nearly as bad as they could be.

I haven't been desperate for a nap for three days now and I'm hoping it's a lasting trend. I am still pretty zonked by 8pm though and I'm perfecting the art of being an evening couch potato. I hate every minute of it.

I've been too tired to read the mountain of books I'd like to read, so I've been defaulting to watching TV the past two nights. This is a pretty unusual thing in our home because we never turn it on in the evenings. I mean really, seriously never. (Ok, except for the seasons when LOST is on. Then it's on one hour per week! By the way, are you so psyched about the upcoming last season!? Are they going to answer all of my questions???? What is the smoke monster? And what else are we going to find out about Locke? Ahh!)

But anyway. To make my new couch potato status totally and completely worse, the cable company decided to bless curse us with free cable even though we don't want cable. It's all part of their evil scheme to get you sucked in to watching shows you don't normally watch. Then they take them all away with the hope that you will then upgrade your package. I keep telling Rachel, "Now hunny, the nice evil TV company is just letting us borrow Dora for a little while. You know what borrowing means right hunny?"

But truthfully, I don't think Mr. Dad is going to let this continue for much longer and I have to agree. Have you ever not eaten sweet foods for a period of time? And then when you taste something sweet again for the first time after a long time, it tastes insanely, sickeningly sweet? Well, our eyes and ears have been away from cable TV for a long time, and the reintroduction has left a bad taste in our mouths. And I'm just talking about the commercials on supposed "family" channels.

A few years ago I went to a conference and heard Joshua Harris speak on the topic of media and its influence. I remember being floored by what he had to say. It was so off my radar screen at the time. Confession: I was the girl who didn't go to the Christian Fellowship because Dawson's Creek was on at the same time. (I'm totally serious.)

Harris says, "The obvious problem for Christians is that much of modern media’s content ignores or even demeans Biblical truth. The less obvious problem for Christians is that our relationship to the media is not all that different than that of the unbelieving world. The mind set of many believers is “trying to figure out how much sinful content from media they can handle and still be okay.” He likens that attitude to taking half a poison pill. “When it comes to what we watch or read or listen to, we shouldn’t ask how many halves of poison pills we can take without dying. We need to examine the cumulative effect of our media habits on our attitude toward God and sin and the world.”

Harris then gives 3 questions based on 1 John 2:16 for examining the effects of media in our lives:

1. Cravings of man – Are my media habits encouraging me to want my own way?

2. Lust of the eyes – Are my media habits stirring up covetousness in me?

3. Pride of life – Are my media habits encouraging me to exalt myself and value such worldly things as social status, athletic achievement, fame or wealth?

This is so worth thinking about if you're a Christian. Even though what I watched last night falls into the innocent category (a National Geographic show on wild dogs - ha!), I could so easily slip right back into bad media habits and making a poor use of my time.

So hun, you were right. I resisted for two days, but I think it's time to call the cable company. :)

My Personal Retreat - Update!

Hi Ladies,
I just posted about how my personal retreat went here. A personal retreat is some time away to reflect on what the Lord has for this season of your life. It was a sweet, refreshing time with Him. I feel more focused now and I just got a sense of confirmation about the work that He wants me to do at this time.

Weeding Out Distractions

Hi Girls,
Last night I posted what is probably my last post (or at least for a long while) on my other blog Daisy and Pear. The computer has quickly become something that consumes too much valuable time. It's tempting to go on the internet instead of spending extra quality time with the girls. It's the first thing I run to after they're tucked into bed, and it has begun to steal time away from my husband in the evenings. We haven't been operating as a cohesive family unit. We only have a vague idea, if that, of where our family is headed in terms of service to the Lord. And how can we if our evenings are spent consumed with individual interests? It's time to close the laptop and have a face to face, genuine conversation with my husband. Sharing the couch, a conversation, a blanket, and some tea with my love sounds really good right about now... so much better than staring at this cold, mechanical thing.

Jesus is stirring up a desire in my heart for more of Him, and that means I need to shake off the distractions. It's never easy, and I truthfully don't want to give up my cutesy little blog. However, I was clearly convicted, I know it's His will, so how can I refuse? His plans and ways are always better than mine. His promises are good. I'm excited!

Family Devotion Time

Okay, here is my first post. Keep in mind, I really love my church and have been going there for 13 yrs. Scenario: church sets up a six-week series on the most important thing there is-- the gospel. Sounds like a good idea. We are hearing about it on Sunday, but does everyone really get it? This will make sure of that. Now what could be the problem? Well, our week already consists of life group (weekly Bible study), high impact (my husband and I are youth leaders), not to mention soccer- Tues. & Fri. evenings. So, may I ask, where is there room for family devotion time? Is it really that important? Can't it just wait until our lives aren't as hectic? If that were the case, I don't think it would ever happen. It is easy for me to have my personal devotion time and go about my day, forgetting that my four-year-old needs time with the Lord, too, and she can't read on her own right now, neither does she really have the ambition since she is not a believer. This is why family devotion time is so important. While I can do a morning devotion with her and use a Christian-based curriculum to school my daughters, there is something to say for the whole family gathered around singing praises to the Lord and reading the Word together. Sure, we could go out to gospel night and be edified, but what about my daughters? They are too young to join us (they are 4 yrs. and 21 mo.), so they would wind up in nursery watching a video most likely. Yes, the gospel is important. Like I said in the beginning, it is the MOST important thing. This is why my husband and I would rather be home sharing the gospel with our children.

Mid-Week Church Dilemma

Like most churches, our church has a mid-week program for children and teens. Our daughter (Miss G) is in 3rd grade and that would place her in Kid's Impact (1st - 6th graders), which is a group that does both drama ministry and a missions club. Great combination, right? So what is the dilemma?

The dilemma is two fold - (A) It ends at 8:30pm, and that is if they end on time. We don't get home from church until about 8:45 to 9pm, so Miss G does not get in bed until 9:30 and that is on a good night. She has a pretty exciting or at least over stimulating time, and so she has to wine down. On school nights, our children go to bed at 8pm sharp, maybe an occasional 8:30pm. Homeschooling on Thursday is a nightmare because she has trouble thinking and controlling her emotions, which I believe is due to the lack of sleep from the night before. Her tests show how poor her performance is on Thursdays compared to other days. This leads me to believe she is not learning what is being taught to her on Thursday. I may be able to check school off to do list on Thursday, keep my records, but what has she really learned?

Some people have given me the advise to let her sleep in Thursday morning, pushing the start and end of school back on our timed schedule. However, I have been blessed we early risers, so even if I let her, she has not made up the sleep. Another suggestion was to do a light school day, do read-alouds instead of tests. This would not work either because we would have to add a double lesson on another day or do school on a Saturday to keep up. Also I work some evenings and so we could not make the lessons up then. I know that public schools do not always finish their textbooks, but they have standards they do have to meet, and so does our homeschool.

(B) This brings me to B reason, I already work 2 to 4 evenings a week depending on how busy the store is during that season. My husband has worship band practice every Tuesday night, so that basically leaves Sunday and Monday night for family time, maybe Wednesday too if we are lucky. I have to work, so quitting is not an option right now. We really would rather do a church activity as a family. My husband works 10 hours a day at the moment, since he has been away from the kids all day, he wants to spend some time with them. We could volunteer to work in Kid's Impact as a family, but we do have a 5 and 3 year old who will be tired, bored and probably thirsty and hungry too.

We do want to be involved in our church to grow on our own Christian walk and build relationships with other members of the church community. We do thoroughly cover Bible, scripture memorization and missions at home through homeschooling and family Bible time. What should we do? Do you have an "out of the box" ideas on how to solve this problem?

As you can see from my earlier post, we started school and have gone to some family nights at church they have in August, so it is fresh in my mind what a problem this will be come September when family nights stop and Kid's Impact begins. Also, I read the Building Cathedrals BLOG and a mom with a Kindergartner had a similar dilemma. Click on link to read that post. It is a great BLOG, the builders do a fabulous job. My daughter is older and we attend a Evangelical Protestant church (program attendance is not required for sacraments), so our dilemma is a little different.

I need your input!