The 'What If' Child

We have a child that is a deep thinker.  He is always asking a 'what if' question.  In the photo above, he asking himself what is really going to happen when he fights Darth Vader, will my parents find me in this crowd when I am done, will I use a real light saber  . . . .   Really, all kids get the worries from time to time and want to know 'what if.'  For a deep thinker, the world can be a never ending place of fear.  They think too much for their own good.  Their heighten awareness spawn one scenario after another.  Our children should know that worries and fears are normal, that everyone has them, and we need to show them what we do with worries.

Our children's 'what ifs' are a great chance to make clear to them basic Biblical wisdom.  It is easy to forget when our minds start spinning.  I tell my child, simply and bluntly that,

• "You can handle anything that happens to you WITH GOD."  
• "Life will keep you busy enough with real things that happen to you, don't waste your time with 'what ifs'."
• "Don't keep 'what if'ing your self because they never end.  They will just go on and on."
• "What ever happens, you will just deal with it.  God has a plan, there is no need to worry.  He won't give you anymore then you can handle WITH Him."
• "You need to deal with what is happening right now, at this moment."  
• "No matter what happens, stay calm and pray to God for wisdom.  He will show you what to do."

Another exercise that is good to do is to ask them, "What are you afraid of happening?"  Or, "What is the worse that could happen?"  For example, if the child says they are afraid of the house catching on fire, you would help them see that they would leave the house and the fire department would come and put the fire out.  This exercise may be too hard for a child who lacks the ability to reason, meaning a child on the spectrum or with delays.  The point of the exercise is to show, what ever happens, you will just deal with the situation.  

Death may come up in your 'what if' conversation, but you need to deal with it honestly, while only giving them simple information that they need to know.  It is best to be calm, steady and sure of yourself in your delivery.  If you don't believe it completely, your children will see that, and they won't believe either.  As Christians, we have no fear of death.  If your child is persistent, but not yet mature enough, I tell them they will learn more as they get older, but now is not the time.  They need to grow more.  

Having an environment where your child can come and talk to you about what is on their heart plays a major role in providing that teachable moment.  If we have our child's heart, if they feel loved and safe with us, they will let us into their most personal thoughts.  Our children need us to talk to.  They need to be reassured by us.  During these talks with my children, I always remind them that it is our (their mother and father's) job to take care of them and help them though any events that might happen.  Even when they are by themselves, God is ALWAYS with them, watching over them. No worries.  It is a good reminder to the us as well, because where do you think their deep thinking brain came from?  

The Ultimate Meaning of True Womanhood - Chapter 1

Hi Ladies,

John Piper's goal in the first chapter is to clarify the ultimate meaning of true womanhood, and to motivate us to embrace it as our highest calling.

What shapes you?

We are constantly bombarded by various messages on womanhood each day.  Who or what shapes you, your values, and the way you understand the world?  What voices do you listen to?  TV?  The internet?  Magazines?  Friends and family?  Are you, like Eve, being seduced by lies?  Are you being led astray from what is good and wise?  Or do you look to God for truth and bend your ear toward His voice of Wisdom?  Do you believe that He is full of grace and truth and that His ways are truly best even when they don't make sense to us?  Are you God-centered or self-centered?

The most important thing about a person is what they believe about God.  We should look to God's truth to shape our beliefs and values.  We should not do the opposite and look to our culture to shape our view of God!  As John Piper says in the first chapter, "Wimpy theology makes wimpy women.  Wimpy theology simply does not give a woman a God that is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough to handle the realities of life in a way that magnifies the infinite worth of Jesus Christ."  (p. 21)


Ultimate Purpose
When God created the universe and everything in it, His design was intentional, deliberate, purposeful, and beautiful.  Everything was made according to His plan, His idea, and His purposes.  Masculinity and femininity were not created as an afterthought.  They were created to teach us more about God.

Consider how marriage portrays a beautiful picture of Christ's sacrificial love:
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her... that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." (Ephesians 5:25-27)

Again, we get a glimpse of Christ's relationship to the church, His bride.
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:31)

Piper says that marriage is "meant to display the covenant-keeping love between Christ and His church... Marriage will display, as in a mirror dimly, something of the glory of the sacrificial love of Christ for His bride and the lavish reverence and admiration of the bride for her husband.

Intentional Design

Piper concludes that God made us male and female to more fully display the glory of Jesus.  If we were just genderless people, there would be aspects of Christ's nature that would not be known.  The very reason why males and females exist, why we're given in marriage at all, is because it points to something much bigger than gender and marital status.  If you thought your marriage was about you and your husband, it's not.  It actually points to Christ, the cross, and His relationship to the church!   Piper doesn't believe that God simply looked around and decided that marriage would be a good analogy to describe Jesus' relationship to the church.  It was all preplanned from the beginning of time.

Finding Fulfillment

If God was so intentional about manhood and womanhood, and if He uses it to describe something about Jesus, it's definitely a very important topic.  As we go through the rest of the series, I believe we will be most satisfied and most fulfilled in our roles as women when we trust the One who designed us this way.

Is your theology wimpy or do you believe He is all knowing, completely wise, and thoroughly intentional about the way He created us?  Believing the truth about God and who He is will help you see the beauty in His plan for you as a woman.

My next post will be on Chapter 2: From Him, through Him, to Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Love,
Catherine

Voices of the True Woman Movement - Intro

Hi Ladies,

God has placed a powerful vision on my heart for myself and other women.  To sum it up I desperately want to be a godly wife and mother and to spread the message of God's true design for us as women.  I consider it such a precious gift that He has revealed the true worth and value of womanhood and motherhood to me, for I did not always feel this way.  There was a time when I embraced the world's view of these roles, yet God has graciously allowed me to see the emptiness of the path centered on Self.  I have a desire to connect with like-minded women and a burden for those who are still trying to navigate through life the world's way.  I pray my next series of posts will encourage us to see the beauty in God's design for women.

I've wanted to blog about this subject for some time now, but I felt unqualified because I'm still learning and growing in these areas myself!  That is why I am so thankful for the wonderful folks at Revive Our Hearts.  They sent me a free copy of Nancy Leigh DeMoss' new release - Voices of the True Woman Movement: A Call to the Counter-Revolution.  The book is a collection of Christ-centered messages from the first True Woman Conference by John Piper, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Mary Kassian, Janet Parshall, Joni Eareckson Tada, Karen Lorritts, and Fern Nichols.  I'm so thankful to have a resource full of wisdom from these wonderful people!  I have agreed to blog about each of the nine chapters in the book.

Here is a sneak peak of the topics I'll be discussing on my blog, but I'll be reposting them here too:

PART ONE

Foundations of True Womanhood
Chapter 1: The Ultimate Meaning of True Womanhood - John Piper
Chapter 2: From Him, through Him, to Him - Nancy Leigh DeMoss

PART TWO

The Battle for True Womanhood
Chapter 3: You've Come a Long Way, Baby! - Mary A. Kassian
Chapter 4: For Such a Time as This - Nancy Leigh DeMoss

PART THREE

The Refining of True Womanhood
Chapter 5: A Woman after God's Own Heart - Janet Parshall
Chapter 6: Choosing Faith in Seasons of Change - Karen Loritts
Chapter 7: God's Jewels - Joni Eareckson Tada

PART FOUR

Reclaiming True Womanhood
Chapter 8: Leaving a Lasting Legacy through Prayer - Fern Nichols
Chapter 9: A Call to the Counter-Revolution - Nancy Leigh DeMoss

I hope you'll join me for this series and share your thoughts and comments! :)

Love,
Catherine

The Invisible Woman

A friend emailed this video to me this morning. It's a very encouraging 6 minutes for Moms. :)

Here is a quote from the video that resonated with me -

"At times my invisibility has felt like an affliction to me. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life; it is the cure for the disease of self-centerdness. It is the antidote to my own pride. It's ok that they don't see. It's ok that they don't know."

My Personal Retreat - Update!

Hi Ladies,
I just posted about how my personal retreat went here. A personal retreat is some time away to reflect on what the Lord has for this season of your life. It was a sweet, refreshing time with Him. I feel more focused now and I just got a sense of confirmation about the work that He wants me to do at this time.

Biblical Womanhood

In a world that desperately tries to diminish and mock biblical womanhood, it is so refreshing to find ministries that encourage those of us who embrace God's picture of femininity. My absolute heroine of all time is the Proverbs 31 woman. I run to this passage of Scripture often to remind myself of the character and values that are beautiful in God's sight. The glimpse I gain into her life helps me to prioritize, set goals, and rid myself of the distractions that can so easily creep in (currently working on this one!).

True Woman, a ministry of Revive Our Hearts, has an encouraging blog and a 30-day makeover. You can read and sign the beautifully written True Woman Manifesto and receive emails with biblical teaching, encouragement, resources, and links. I signed up a few days ago. I'm woman number 10,492! I haven't gotten any emails yet though, so I may need to sign up again...? I wonder if that will also make me woman number 10,493. :)

Girltalk is another blog with a wealth of resources and information to encourage us. They've been doing a wonderful series on hospitality that has challenged me to reflect on how I can serve others with grace to reflect Christ. This is not an area that comes easily or naturally to me. I used to hesitate to have others over because I was too consumed with myself, how clean my home was, and how convenient it was for me. Do you hear that? Me, me me. But the more I look at Jesus, the more He places hospitality toward others as a priority on my heart. I'm excited to see the bits of growth that He's done in this area of my life.

Do you have any other resource recommendations that encourage biblical womanhood? Books, links, blogs? I'd love to check them out.

Transition Time!

The weather is crisp and cool. The things of Fall are entering my mind... apple picking, pumpkin pie, cozy sweaters, and glowing candles in the evening. It's a time of transition. A new season. A time to pull out our Rubbermaid containers, pack away our summer clothes, and hang up our fall wardrobe.

It's a time to reflect on what the Lord has for us during this season of life. What areas of our lives need to be tidied or perhaps packed away for another season? What activities simply add clutter or chaos?

Let's prayerfully seek how we should spend this season of our lives. Are there people we should be reaching out to? Do we need a fresh perspective on our current roles? Could we be serving with more joy? Have we forgotten that true joy can only come as we lay our burdens at Jesus' feet and humbly allow Him to transform our hearts?

Carolyn Mahaney has a wonderful message called In Every Season of Life. She uses Ephesians 5:15-17 to remind us of God's providence and to encourage us to discover and respond to His instructions. The audio download is available here for free.

~Ephesians 5:15-17~
Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise— making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So don't be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

Happiness

The following prayer is from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions. So much of this rich, beautiful prayer touched my heart today. I pray that it will be a blessing to others as well...

Happiness

O LORD,

Help me never to expect any happiness from the world,
but only in thee.
Let me not think that I shall be more happy by living to myself,
for I can only be happy if employed for thee,
and if I desire to live in this world
only to do and suffer what thou dost allot me.
Teach me
that if I do not live a life that satisfies thee,
I shall not live a life that will satisfy myself.
Help me to desire the spirit and temper of angels
who willingly come down to this lower world
to perform thy will,
though their desires are heavenly,
and not set in the least upon earthly things;
then I shall be of that temper I ought to have.
Help me not to think of living to thee in my own strength,
but always to look to and rely on thee for assistance.
Teach me that there is no greater truth than this,
that I can do nothing of myself.
Lord, this is the life that no unconverted man can live,
yet it is an end that every godly soul presses after;
Let it be then my concern to devote myself and all to thee.
Make me more fruitful and more spiritual,
for barrenness is my daily affliction and load.
How precious is time, and how painful to see it fly
with little done to good purpose!
I need thy help:
O may my soul sensibly depend upon thee
for all sanctification,
and every accomplishment of thy purposes
for me, for the world,
and for thy kingdom.

Catherine with Miss R (then 18 months old).