Room for One More

The Christmas season brings to mind the Scripture that details Mary and Joseph's search for a room in Bethlehem to shelter them from the night. Though they knocked on many doors, they only received the reply that there was no room for them. Finally, they found a place that made room for the expectant couple. It recalls to me the birth of my own children and makes me ask myself, do we have room for one more?

There was a time when my husband and I thought we would have a specific number of children, a kin to objects you plan to acquire in life. "How many children do you think you will have," is a question often asked of couples. God has changed our hearts not to see our family as a specific number, but of questioning ourselves if there is room for one more. It leads us to be open to what God may have for us. Now, we take it year by year, child by child, just having our hearts open to another child.

One reason for this was seeing children as a gift, a blessing from God. You can search all of Scripture and not find any evidence that children are a curse, though the demand of day-to-day reality easily leads people to think differently. In fact, children, in the generic term, are always referred to as a blessing in the Bible. The idea that children are an inconvenient drain is completely a worldly notion. While being a lot of work, children are also very valuable. The work they require is really an opportunity to serve and grow in God. Now, that does not mean you have to have 16 children to be deemed truly righteous. It simply means, that whether you have 2 or 20, you are blessed to have children. It also means as a church family, we are blessed to have children in our congregation.

Parents are not the only ones who need to view children as a blessing. While the parents are called to disciple their children*, the church plays many important roles in bringing up the next generation too. One way is by seeing children as a gift to our congregation, celebrating each addition of a new child to our fold with joy. The attitude of the Church on this matter will determine the direction of its members. It is amazing what a little encouragement can do. The cards and presents we received after the birth of our 3rd child gave me tangible evidence that he was a blessing to be celebrated, not a misfortune as the world may think. So, when we meet a family of 6, instead of being shock and feeling pity for them, we can comment on their great blessing.

If the Church does not see the addition of children as a "good thing," then believers will see a family of more than 1.8 children as a misfortune. Making room for one more will not even be on the radar of options. Encouraging adoption will be difficult, or it will be seen as charity at best. Picking up on our negative response, the next generation's perfect family size will shrink and they will not know to delight in children.

Personally, getting a Biblical attitude adjustment towards seeing my children as a gift has made one of the biggest differences in me being able to delight in my own children. By delight, I mean that I truly enjoy spending time with my children, not because I ought to or because they are "good," but because God has changed my heart. So, yes, we have room for one more. There is a lot more to be said on the subject, but the point is that children are a gift from the Lord.

Scripture:
*You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deuteronomy 6:7

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. Psalm 136:13-16

When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. John 16:21

See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. Matthew 18:10

Sara's Questions

What am I cooking?
By request of my husband, I've been experimenting with chicken on the bone. I usually just do chicken breasts, but he likes dark meat. To my surprise, it was good!

What am I reading?
Just have time for the Bible right now.

What am I praying today?
I was praying for people I met in Bosnia today.

What can my children do instead of watching TV?
Play outside-- My girls can entertain themselves for a while playing house outside. They don't have any brothers, but they each have their own house and visit each other from time to time and go on errands. It's funny. We also painted with watercolors today. That was fun.

What is one product that has made my life a little easier?
I'm not sure about easier, but the discovery of mint chocolate chips that I use in my old chocolate chip cookie recipe has made my life yummier=).

What am I grateful for?
A merciful Savior-- Jesus Christ-- who shows such mercy to me every day—Oh, how I need that!

What have I done for my marriage lately?
Making sure that we have time together just as husband and wife, not just mommy and daddy and two kids=). This has not been easy for us, but our marriage is so much better when we are looking to serve each other and just spend time together. This is something the Lord has been teaching me lately.

What's challenging me lately?
Trying to find time for everything and everyone, knowing how much I should be doing as a homeschooling mom and what can wait. Also, the Lord has been challenging me on some sin issues that are painful, yet so good for me!


How were you a mission-minded family this week?
Well, I guess every week it's the same for us-- Remembering our time in Bosnia for a month and talking about and praying about going there full time at some point. Trusting the Lord that we will or will not go all in His perfect timing.

Ponderings ~Karen

What am I cooking?
A lot of Mexican food. We are learning about Mexico. Next week Canada. Any good Canadian recipes???

What am I reading?
Lots of adoption books. It is our homework from the adoption agency.

What am I praying today?
A better prayer life and time to pray as a family (more than just blessing the food). I know it sounds ironic to pray for prayer, but I am asking God to help fulfill that desire. Finding the time and building the habit is my major roadblock. I know God will give me the wisdom to fix this problem.

What can my children do instead of watching TV?
Play with wooden blocks and plastic animals.

What is one product that has made my life a little easier?
Hot Dots. They kept my preschooler busy doing a "school" activity, while I schooled the other ones.

What am I grateful for?
a helping husband

What have I done for my marriage lately?
Telling my husband when I appreciate something he has done.

What's challenging me lately?
Celebrating the seasons. I wish I could whip up some tasty treats for fall or have a plan to make Christmas cookies. Life gets so busy, I forget to make some memories for my children. It doesn't help that I am seriously challenge in the Martha Stewart area. My flesh wants to be perfect in every area of motherhood, but I am not. No one is. But, I would like to improve to a reasonable level - to know what to make when having company, a good meal to take to a sick person, actually make Christmas cookies. I need to read the Hidden Art Of Homemaking.


How were you a mission minded family this week?
Reading the biography of Cameron Townsend aloud.

The Heart of Frugality

Here's an interesting blog post on frugality by Tim Challies.  It's not what you might expect...

Excerpt: Over the weekend I came across some video of America’s self-proclaimed cheapest family. They got me thinking about frugality, a topic that is all the rage in Christian circles today (or at least in some Christian circles). I have discussed this issue once or twice in the past but want to return to it today. Why? Because a lot of people put a lot of effort into frugality and I think many of them do so without thinking deeply whether what they are doing is right or wrong. They are saving money and this must be good, right? I’m not entirely convinced. So hear me out.

Click here to read the rest of the article.

~Catherine

Our Children Are a Gift from God

While we set out to build character in our children, it is our character that is also built in the process. In fact, I wonder if we learn more about God from raising our children, than our children learn about God from us. Though, the discipleship of the children by the parents may range from non-existent to very active, even when the discipleship is on the heavy end, I bet the parents still end up gleaning more.

This leads to the fact that there is no accidental child in the sense God gave us each child to build certain character traits in us. Whatever that child's sinful bent is that we need to deal with day after day after day, it was meant for us. It was meant to teach us a lesson, so we need to look for what God is trying to teach us through our trials with our children. With so much to do, it is easy to get caught up in discipleship and disciplining, that we forget to notice what we are suppose to be learning as well.

Personally, this helps me see my daily struggles with my children in a positive light. I am growing closer to God. Along with my children's fruit, I will be harvesting my own.

Improvement Reading

Being a stay at home mom, books offer "a peace offering to a hungry mind." I need more than just laundry and wiping noses. Maybe that is why I like homeschooling, because I am using my brain and diving into great books with the kids. Not that there is anything wrong with wiping noises or washing clothes, I am happy to do it. What I am saying is that I personally need more then just those things.

The Well-Educated Mind by Susan Wise Bauer is a treasure trove for me. I actually found myself salivating over her book lists in the second part of her book. Looking forward to reading them, as well as, remembering those I have read. Sometimes we tell ourselves, that this is not our season for such things, but that is not really true. It is just like all the other things in our lives, we have to carve out the time to do it.

I have always struggled with the "nose wiper" job description, leaving my honors behind me. Would my professors be disappointed in me for choosing full time motherhood? It is not that I think it unimportant, but that I miss the intellectualism of a university and motherhood is not usually cast in that sort of light. I suppose that is why I found The Well-Educated Mind's theme of self-education so encouraging. Of course, always remembering that I serve God, not man, helps me to sustain my mom post too. In God's eye's, it is probably one of the best uses of my education and a good reason to continue it in self-study. My faith gives me liberty from the world's good opinion, and lets me focus on the parts of life that have eternal significance, like disciplining my children.

While my faith gives me great purpose in motherhood and homeschooling, I still have to fill that need for intellectualism. For one, finding like-minded moms has helped. In homeschooling circles, I do not have to look far to find another mom who is listening to A Tale of Two Cities while working around the house too. I can find the intellectualism I long for where I am now, if I look for it.

Besides all the "great" books that Bauer suggests, there is the greatest book of all times - the Bible. While wanting to read the works of Charles Dickens is great, studying my Bible must be a higher priority. If I have the yearning for well written works, then I need to seek out books that will increase my knowledge of God. There is such a desire to roll up my sleeves and deeply study His Word. I should remember to make time for it. It will not happen other wise.

Finding the Source of Burn Out

Lately, I have been feeling so burnt out. Perhaps it is being too busy, not having enough help, or unmet expectations. By removing certain possible stress sources, I could see if it made me feel better or worse. We took a week off of school, and that was not it. I took a brake from couponing, and had a week with fewer activities, but neither of those seemed to be the source.

I noticed that I felt better when I was out, but when I was home, I felt overwhelmed and stressed. From here I realized it was the messy build up in the house. There are piles and piles of items to go through, organize, and get rid of. While I am not a neat freak, bad messes bother me. Finding the cause of my burn out helps me figure out my priorities and helps me to focus on the issue.

Also, it helps to learn where I went wrong to get to this point. First, you need refreshment to keep from getting burnt out. Our summer was too busy and our vacation was not relaxing. Second, a homeschooling mother needs help, and I was too cheap to hire any during out summer brake. While I cannot do anything about the last vacation, we are planning our next vacation to be about relaxing and making memories. As far as help, I have decided to hire a sitter and part with my money. You can be too thrifty. What is the use of stockpiling money for our adoption if I have a nervous brake-down in the process. I feel hiring a sitter for 2 or 3 hours a week will give me time to tackle the out of control clutter. Having too much stuff is not apart of the simplistic lifestyle I want to live.

On the bright side, school is going well. Perhaps I will get around to posting about the changes I made this year that have really helped to make a productive and happy school day.