While we set out to build character in our children, it is our character that is also built in the process. In fact, I wonder if we learn more about God from raising our children, than our children learn about God from us. Though, the discipleship of the children by the parents may range from non-existent to very active, even when the discipleship is on the heavy end, I bet the parents still end up gleaning more.
This leads to the fact that there is no accidental child in the sense God gave us each child to build certain character traits in us. Whatever that child's sinful bent is that we need to deal with day after day after day, it was meant for us. It was meant to teach us a lesson, so we need to look for what God is trying to teach us through our trials with our children. With so much to do, it is easy to get caught up in discipleship and disciplining, that we forget to notice what we are suppose to be learning as well.
Personally, this helps me see my daily struggles with my children in a positive light. I am growing closer to God. Along with my children's fruit, I will be harvesting my own.